TOO MUCH LOSS AND TURMOIL

Sorry I haven’t posted much lately.  I have been really busy at work lately and our computer at home was down for a few days.  We needed to get a new graphics card for it.

My heart has been so heavy for so many of my friends.  My friend Roy, lost his mom suddenly and was the one who found her.  His dad had a heart attack and almost died from the shock of his wife dying unexpectedly.  Roy already struggles with depression and bipolar disorder so I have been really worried about him.  He is doing surprisingly well tho, and I think its because he knows how much his dad needs and depends on him right now.

My friend Theresa’s nephew, Zach died in an explosion at a chemical plant her in Cincinnati.  He was 20 years old and had only been in this job for 3 weeks and he was cutting a tube that had chemicals in it and it caused a flash fire and 90% of his body was burned.  He was alive for a few hours and then later died.  He had just recently gotten engaged and he also had a newborn baby at home.  Zach’s mom lived in Florida and I also know her, I went to school with her and Theresa.  Her name is Morgana and she was devastated by her son’s death as you can imagine.  After staying here for a week or so after Zach’s funeral, Morgana boarded her plane with her son’s ashes in hand and arrived home safely. 

Theresa had told me that Morgana was in a pretty abusive relationship and Theresa had begged her not to return to Florida.   Three weeks after Morgana arrived home to her boyfriend, Theresa called me in tears saying that the police had found Morgana and her boyfriend’s bodies.  They had both been shot.  They believe that the boyfriend shot Morgana in the head and then shot himself.  When the police found the bodies, they said that they had been dead for 5 days.  It wasn’t until the workplace of the boyfriend sent someone to their house after the boyfriend hadn’t shown up for work for a few days that they finally found the bodies.  Needless to say, Theresa is completely destroyed by this news.  Such a sad sad situation and my heart goes out to her so much. 

My friend’s Tim and Stephanie had a new baby girl on January 21^st (4 weeks early) and despite being early, baby Regan weighed 7 pounds 4 ounces and seemed healthy.  Well, a day after they were discharged from the hospital, Tim and Steph were told that Regan had failed 2 of her blood tests and they needed to bring her back to the hospital.  She was admitted for Jaundice and for more tests.  She was finally released to go home but had to go to Children’s to see a Specialist about the failed tests.  The Jaundice is getting better which is great but Tim and Steph are not out of the woods yet.  They are waiting to hear back the results of the current blood tests so please keep baby Regan in your prayers.

Then poor AP, who we all know and love just cant seem to catch a break with her hand surgeries!  I feel so bad for what she has had to endure and her strength amazes me!

So, if you all could keep all of my precious friends in your prayers I would appreciate it.  I feel so bad for all of them.  Thanks girls.

MY JOB

I work for a Company called Custom Distributors.  It’s a family owned Appliance Store.  We sell Kitchen Appliances and washers and dryers.  Most of our business comes from Builders, remodelers and kitchen designers but we are also open to the public and have great competitive pricing. 

We are different from a retail store like Lowes, or Home Depot or other places who sell appliances.  We recommend people make an appointment when coming in to look at Appliances if they are going to want to talk to a salesperson and get pricing and lots of info about the particular appliance.  The reason we recommend appointment is because if someone comes in who is building and needs to look at a full kitchen of appliances, those appointments can last up to 2-3 hours and we only have 3 salespeople on hand so even tho walk in’s are welcome, a lot of times people who just walk in are taking the risk of not getting helped.  This sometimes causes an issue with people at times but it states clearly on our door and on our website to call for an appointment.  Its not that we don’t welcome people without appointments, its just that we may not have anyone available to assist you and to give you pricing if you don’t have an appointment. 

My job is the Front Desk.  I am the Showroom Coordinator.  I welcome customers, offer them bottled water or soda, I take their information and then get a salesperson to assist them.  I also have other computer work that I do and I enter orders for the sales people, I pull specs and just assist the sales people in any way I can.  I like my job however, it can be a bit boring at times but at my age, I like boring lol  I don’t think I could do this job when I was in my 20’s, I had way too much energy back then.   This job is perfect for me because its super easy and its literally a 3 min drive for me.  I work from 9am to 5pm and I am on a rotating Saturday schedule, usually being scheduled to work 1-2 Saturday’s a month but because my weekends are so important to me a lot of the time, my Saturday’s are taken from the other 2 girls who work on the rotation because they want the overtime and I gladly give up my Saturday’s to them.

We also offer cooking classes twice a month.  We have a Chef (Chef Kathy) who plans a menu and cooks for these classes.  The classes are held two Wednesday evenings a month and it includes and entrée, side dish and desert plus wine is flowing the whole time.  You get all of this for $35 bucks which I think is a great deal.  The people who take the class always have such a fun time. 

One of my responsibilities is to type up all the recipes and menus for Chef Kathy, update the website with all the class dates and keep track of people who sign up for a class.  If any of you who live locally, are ever interested in a class, just let me know.  Our website is customdistributors.com and if you ever need appliances, let me know because we have great prices and we have a Closeout Center with even better pricing!  So, I hope this post wasn’t too boring but I wanted to explain to you all what I do at my job!  Until next time ladies J

NO TIME TO BE SICK!

Being sick sucks!  Started coming down with something Saturday afternoon.  We had plans to go tubing but I didn’t want to be out in the cold when I was in the midst of getting sick so we canceled.  We are hoping to go this weekend but not sure if that will work out since Saturday is such a busy day. 

Tonight we have basketball practice, a ton of homework and need to finish his Science Fair Board.  He is doing his Board on Distractions while Driving, which has been a pretty cool project to do since this is such a problem these days. 

We went to Dave and Buster’s and played a driving game first without distractions and recorded our score and then we played the game with 3 different distractions.  Texting while driving, talking on the phone while driving and driving while getting poked by someone non-stop (this one brought on a lot of strange looks from people lol)

It was a fun project to do and I hope its enlightening to people because its truly an epidemic and danger!

His Science Fair is Saturday and his board will be judged.  I will post pics of the finished project.

We have such a big day Saturday, we have to be at the Science Fair at by 8:15 am (yuck) its over by 12:00 noon and then off to his basketball game at 1:30! 

I hope his Board wins an award at the fair!  I will let you all know!  That’s all that’s been going on with me lately!  Later gators

MY DIET PLAN

Ok, just like my exercise routine, I have also created my own diet.  I have researched and researched several diets and what I have done is pulled things from a handful of diets and created one that suits me.

I knew I had to add more protein to my diet.  Since I am doing cardio and strength training exercises, I needed a lot of protein to help me gain muscle mass.   The more strength training you do, using weights, the more muscle you build and more calories you burn.  Doing only cardio, is not enough.  Plus, I didn’t only want to lose weight, I also wanted to be stronger and more fit.

I stay on a 1500 calorie diet, but since I exercise so much, I require more calories.  I use the phone app myfitnesspal to guage my calorie intake and exercise so I can keep them in balance.

My daily diet plan is as follows:

Breakfast – 1 banana, 1 Greek yogurt, 10 almonds, a hard boiled egg and a cup of all natural unsweetened hot green tea.

Bottled water all day until dinner

Snack – unbuttered, seasalted popcorn, bottled water

Lunch – always soup and salad or just a great big salad and a bottled water.

Snack – apple, lowfat pretzels, or hard boiled egg bottled water

Dinner – normal dinner just using portion control, and I have a glass of my favorite lemon-berry Hawaiian punch (70 calories)

Weekends – I eat whatever I want in moderation and portion control and continue my exercise.

One weakness I could not give up, and I save calories for is my glass of wine every single night before I go to sleep.  It unwinds me and relaxes me and allows me to stay asleep once I fall to sleep.  If I don’t drink my glass of wine, I will wake up every 2 hours all night long.  I love my wine.

The supplements that I take to help with weightloss are:

Green tea capsules (a lot of health benefits plus great for metabolism and I also drink green tea everyday)

Isol Iodine drops (great for a lot of health benefits and mostly thyroid function)

  

One thing that I do not crave is sweets.  I used to love cookies and candy and chocolate.  For some reason I don’t anymore.  My weaknesses are appetizer foods and dips, hot wings, and queso dip, and pizza dip and dipping everything into ranch dressing or garlic butter.  Also pasta.  I love Ramen noodles and other pastas.  I only let myself have pasta once a week. 

And I do crave chocolate at a certain time each month and for this craving I always have bar of DARK chocolate around.  This is a better chocolate to eat if you must have chocolate. 

So, there you have it.  This is the diet plan I have been following since July and so far its working great for me.  One thing I have learned is that not every diet is good for everyone.  Everyone’s bodies are different and respond differently to things.  You have to do what best suits your lifestyle and your body style. 

MY DIET AND EXERCISE ROUTINE

Ok, since a couple of you have asked me what I have been doing to lose weight I am posting it. 

Ok, first off, I am a huge homebody and hate to go anywhere but home, after work.  I don't even like to go out to eat after work.  I go straight home, cook dinner, workout, shower and get in my comfy PJ's and lay in my bed watching tv, and playing on my phone or ipad while my hubby is next to me on the computer watching his sports crap lol

I knew I would never ever ever keep up with going to a gym a few times a week.  So, I decided to come up with a routine I would stick with.  In my living room, I have a small portable stepper machine, 2 sets of dumbells, and a yoga ball.  Every morning I wake up, drink my coffee and then do 15 minutes on my stepper, do a 10 minute dumbell routine for arm exercises, and I hold my dumbells while I do my crunches and my bicycle crunches.  Then I do 10 push ups This takes about 20 mins.  then I finish getting ready for work.  Once I get to work and get settled in, I speed walk the showroom which is huge.  I go 10 times around.  Sometimes I do it first thing in the morning, sometimes I have to wait til the afternoon because it depends on when there are customers in the showroom.  I have to wait til there are no customers.  The other thing I do, is each time I have to go upstairs at work which is about 5 times a day, I go very fast and I take 2 steps at a time.  Also, evertime I go to the bathroom (which is a lot because I drink 5 water bottles a day) I do 30 jumping jacks in the stall (don't laugh at me). 

The idea here was for me to turn everything that I normally do anyway, into an exercise.  This way, I am getting it out of the way while doing something I have to do anyway, like work.  It's perfect for me because I am not taking any time away from anything to exercise.  I do it all while I am doing things I normally do.  This has worked great for me.  The last thing I do, is while I am cooking dinner, I go in the living room and do my dumbell exercises,  stepper and crunches again.  I always do it while I am waiting for something to boil or brown so I am exercising and getting dinner done all at the same time.  I do this routine 7 days a week. 

I will post my diet plan in another post. 

LYRICS TO CAM'S SONG

Lyrics

Break the silence with your harsh words
deceived your way into our life's
Starting a war that will never end
Causing us much pain and agony
Thoughts of how to end it all circle through my mind
I can’t handle this shit anymore

You’re such a deceptive low life x2

You can strike me down
(with your words)
But look I'm standing strong x2

You tried to cover your agenda
But, we all could read you like a book
Is this some kind of a vendetta?
Deep inside I saw what shook

You’re such a deceptive low life x2

You can strike me down
(with your words)
But look I'm standing strong x2

Your lies were wrapped around my throat
I reached as I gasp for air

Now I give what you deserve
Bitch, this is the final straw!

I've moved from
What you perceived me to be
I know what I'm meant for
I never want to see your face again
You’re just a deceptive low life
And you will never change

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY CAM CAM

Today is Cameron's 23rd birthday!  I cannot believe he's 23....It seems like just yesterday, I was pushing to deliver him and then holding in my arms looking at his beautiful newborn face.  I love this kid so much!  He has been thru so much due to my being so young when I had him but he has not let that stop him from moving on with his life and working hard on his dream to be a known hardcore singer/screamer!  I know I posted his new single on facebook but I didn't post what the lyrics to his song are about. 

Cameron went thru years of hell with his Step-mom.  At first Michelle was good with him but once she had her first child of her own.......that all changed.  She ended up having four more kids and she treated Cameron completely different than her own kids.  She emotionally abused my poor son for years by comparing him to her kids and doing countless and countless things to make him feel unworthy and unlovable.  She constanly put him down and would call him names and make her own kids treat him the same way.  It had gotten so bad that for years he hated his own sister because he resented her for how Michelle compared them and treated him like he was beneath her.  I am happy to say tho that now that Carmen is 18 and they have both talked about what Michelle did, he and his sister are very close.

To outside people,  Michelle would pretend to be an awesome step-mom but it was all fake and Cam knew it, I knew it and hell even her own sister's knew it.  But many many people (in my own family) fell for it.  This caused some major fighting to go on between Michelle and I for years.  I saw what she was doing to my child but because it wasn't physical, I couldn't do anything about it.  I blame his father for allowing this to happen.  You do not ever let someone mistreat your child and he did. 

Anyway, later on when Cam was a teenager, Michelle admitted to mistreating Cameron because she was resentful of me and that he was a constant reminder of J's past relationship with me.  So, in other words, my poor son was emotionally abused because of her insecurity.   This breaks my heart and makes me rage with anger all at the same time. 

Cam and I have had many talks about this and the anger and hatred he has toward this woman is unbelievable.  I do tell him tho that he needs to take that anger and channel into something positive and that's exactly what he is doing.  His first song is about the hell he went thru with his step-mom.  The lyrics are heartbreaking for me to listen to and everytime I hear the song I cry. 

I apologized to Cameron for everything he has gone thru due to my having him so young and his response to me was "Mom, stop it, I couldn't have asked for a better mom."  This made me so happy to hear.  This boy is my world and I would hate it if he thought I didn't do a good job as his mama.  I will post the lyrics to his song in another post and if I can figure out how, I will also post his song.  Please support him on Facebook by liking his band page if you haven't already.  The name is For My Lasting Triumph.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAM CAM!

OUR DINNER TONIGHT!

I found this recipe online and it looks and sounds delish! I am making it tonight and I will let you know how it turns out!  http://www.plainchicken.com/2012/09/chicken-ranch-pasta.html

HORMONES HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN!!!

So, I am age 40 and very hormonal.  I am peri-menopausal and it causes a lot of annoying things in my life.  Most people say I am too young yet to be peri-menopausal but my mother was completely thru it by age 47, which is very young.   One of the annoying symptoms is weight, it’s much harder to lose weight when your hormones are out of whack and much easier to gain it!

 Another, is major mood swings.  These two symptoms alone make getting older more difficult.  But, after doing a ton of research, I have been able to keep it all under control and even lose weight.  I have found some all natural supplements and herbs to take to help keep my hormones in balance so I am not as moody and so I can continue my weight loss.  So far, so good. 

I am using Progesterone Cream, I rub this on my chest daily, I take Red Clover, I also take iodine drops, 4 drops per day in a small glass of water and lastly, I take a multi-vitamin for women age 50+, I couldn’t find a multi-vitamin for age 40+ so I figured the age 50+ just has some extra stuff in it that I can only benefit from so I take that one!

This regimen along with my new diet and exercise routine has completely changed my life!  I feel fabulous!  I haven’t felt this good in 10 years!  I feel healthy, strong, energetic and young. 

I have read a lot on this subject and what I did was pick and choose bits and pieces of all of the options out there and created one that I thought was best for me and my symptoms and so far it is working and has been working long term.  I have dropped 4 sizes and 30 pounds in about 5 months and I am not finished!  I have about 20 more pounds and/or one more size to drop before I feel I only need to maintain.  I am hoping I will be at my goal by June or before. 

At first it was really difficult to keep up the exercise and diet but once I saw the results happening, it kept me motivated and then once I started feeling better than I have felt in 10 years, I became addicted to that feeling!  I love feeling strong and energetic and I don’t want it to go away! 

I won’t bore you all with my exercise routine and my diet plan unless you ask me.  If you wanna know I will be glad to share it with you but I am not gonna go into it now and bore you all to death lol

Well, that’s all for now girlies……..until next time! <3

OVERVIEW OF THE PAST 4 YEARS OF MY LIFE

Lets see, a lot has happened since I was blogging on a regular basis.  I finally got real and honest with myself about my life and marriage and how I was faking my way thru it all.

I had been unhappy in my marriage to Shawn from the very beginning, in fact even before we got married.  Fact is, had I not gotten pregnant (in 5 weeks) with Dawson, I would have never married Shawn.  For 12 years I was married to a man who was immature, selfish, lazy, extremely disrespectful to women and a drug addict.  I spent years pretending to be happy because I wanted to be and I wanted to keep my family together for Dawson’s sake.  I didn’t want him to have to go thru what my oldest went thru.  This is what kept me going, in an unhappy marriage. 

But one day I realized that living in such dysfunction and misery was just as bad for Dawson if not worse than having his parents divorce.  I saw how my unhappy marriage was affecting him and that’s when I said ok, that’s enough.  We have got to get real and honest about what’s really going on here and either try to fix it or call it quits. 

So, I was honest with Shawn and told him how miserable and unhappy I was and that we either needed to fix things or I was done.  I truly wanted to be able to fix things, work thru it all and heal in our marriage so we could stay together for the kids and be happy with each other.  It just didn’t work out that way.  Little did I realize that I had so much resentment and anger built up toward Shawn that every ounce of love that I ever had for him was gone.  I tried to get it back; I stayed with him for 6 months to see if we could make things work.  Shawn made a few changes that were good but the core of who he was, never changed and THAT is what needed to change in order for my love for him to return.   Shawn did and didn’t do a lot of things that contributed to our bad marriage and to my resentment but that’s not what destroyed us.  What destroyed us was who he was inside, not just his actions.  I realized that I did not like this person at all.  Who he was inside, was something that would never change, therefore, I knew I had to end the marriage.   As hard as it was, I knew that my life as well as Shawn’s and Dawson’s was about to change. 

So, I ended up moving out of the house, and in with my friend Janie for a few months until later when I ended up in a relationship with Steve and moved in with him.  Once I moved out, I knew my life would be in total chaos for a while and boy it sure was!  I won’t go into all the gory details but I was getting harassed by someone thru text for months and months who would not identify themselves, someone slashed my tires, I was constantly fighting thru text with Shawn and then 4 weeks after I left the house, he moved a girl into the home which caused a huge problem due to her total disrespect for our delicate situation with Dawson and just a ton of crap and drama went on for at least a year.

 It was sooo stressful for me that I ended up getting fired from my job.  I was sooo distracted fighting with Shawn back n forth thru text, and with the anonymous harasser as well that I was making very careless and dangerous mistakes at my job and I was let go.  So, then more stress was added, I lost my income and at the same time, my oldest son moves in with us in our 2 bedroom apartment.  While I love having my kids with me, there was just no room for Cameron and living in such close cramped quarters for 18 months on top of all the divorce stress and being unemployed for 1 year just threw me into a state of depression.  I ended up gaining 60 pounds and I was always the skinny underweight girl that everyone hated.  It was really strange for me. 

The one thing through all of this stress that I was completely sure about and that was a constant support for me was my relationship with Steve.  He was the one thing that remained stable and in place while my life was in total chaos.  I knew that this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and who I needed as well as who my kids needed.  I cannot tell you how much of a Blessing this man has been to me and my boys.  He’s just amazing and that’s a whole other post! Ha  So, in the midst of being unemployed, my divorce to Shawn became final and then 3 months later on Ocotber 8, 2011 I married my best friend and soulmate.  Three months after that, I got a job and so far ever since January of 2012 my life has been back on track and I am happier now than I have ever been. 

So, there ya have it, you are all caught up on my life since I have been gone from the blog world.  I am so happy to be back and now that things are finally normal again, it was the perfect time to get back to blogging.  I plan to stick to it too.  I am very excited about it!  And if any of you have any questions about any of this stuff, feel free to ask, I didn’t post all details because its soooo much to type. But this is it for now girlies, love to you all!  Later Gators J

I'M BAAAACK AND WITH A FRESH START

 After chatting with AP, I too decided to start a new blog.  It makes sense since I have a new life than I did when I was blogging 3 or 4 years ago.  Gosh, so much has happened!  I have soooo much to tell you guys and thoughts that I have had swirling around in my head for years but no safe outlet for them.  Facebook is way too public and there's alot on my mind that I just won't post on there.  This is my main reason for wanting to bring blog world back to life.  I want to be able to vent and talk about real things on my mind in a safe environment.  I am sooo excited that we are all going to start blogging again!!! I know this post is a bit boring but I have a list of stuff I want to blog about so I will blog a lot more tomorrow cuz I can blog while I am at work lol yay me!  Well that's enough for tonight.  Make sure you create a link to my new blog and remember not to visit the old one.  Welcome back girlies love you all! <3